there's barely a line in thatthat doesn't set my Finbar Saunders alarm off
I picked up a prostitute by accident once.I lived in a slightly dodgy area of Teesside. Well, dodgier than the other bits, anyway.
Driving home from work one night, I noticed the lady in question walking down the pavement. We exchanged glances, and I thought nothing more of it.
I turned into the dead-end* road where I lived, and drove off down the bottom of the street to turn around. As I pulled up outside the flat, she was standing right next to the parking space, and tried to get into my car.
Me: "Excuse me?"
Her: "I fort you was lookin' for business?"
Me: "No! I live here!"
* I refuse to use the phrase cul-de-sac; it implies a degree of sofistickashun that this place just didn't have
Driving home from work one night, I noticed the lady in question walking down the pavement. We exchanged glances, and I thought nothing more of it.
I turned into the dead-end* road where I lived, and drove off down the bottom of the street to turn around. As I pulled up outside the flat, she was standing right next to the parking space, and tried to get into my car.
Me: "Excuse me?"
Her: "I fort you was lookin' for business?"
Me: "No! I live here!"
* I refuse to use the phrase cul-de-sac; it implies a degree of sofistickashun that this place just didn't have
there's barely a line in that I've got stories that I could dine out on for monthsabout when I lived next door to a brothel in Swansea.
In fact, I think The Duke (as in the board member, rather than a member of the royal family) also lived next to a brothel in Swansea, although I think he lived near one of the posh ones. You know the sort - staff have their own teeth, that sort of thing.
At "my" brothel, as far as I could figure out, there were three staff, and an alsatian dog. Given the choice, I'd have gone for the dog.
In fact, I think The Duke (as in the board member, rather than a member of the royal family) also lived next to a brothel in Swansea, although I think he lived near one of the posh ones. You know the sort - staff have their own teeth, that sort of thing.
At "my" brothel, as far as I could figure out, there were three staff, and an alsatian dog. Given the choice, I'd have gone for the dog.
I did indeed.Studio 95, on Mansel St. I lived at 97. Looking out the back window in the morning was quite something.
I had a similar experienceapparently she didn't say, "got any rizlas", it was "want any business?"
"yeah, sure" i said and rooted through my pockets for a bit.
"yeah, sure" i said and rooted through my pockets for a bit.
i slept with one oncenot carnally.. just at her sqaut because i was knackered and lost and she felt sorry for me
bless
bless
I rather embarassingly bet that a girl at the Letham Pictahoo-haa festival was not a whore.She laughed it off and did not charge me, but I sported a bowler hat with a bite mark missing from it for about a year afterwards.