Oh do fuck off ..
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Oh do fuck off A few years ago I bought Uno from a charity shop.It was new - the deck hadn't been opened. MrsJam and I decide to have a nice game of Uno this evening. We start playing, I get down to my last card so she uses a wildcard to pick yellow.
Five minutes later we discover we only have green and blue cards. Looks like it should've had two sealed decks, not just the one.
Five minutes later we discover we only have green and blue cards. Looks like it should've had two sealed decks, not just the one.
Have a TOTN Kyuss - One Inch Man - http://youtu.be/CAXGu8...
Actually, thinking of Kyuss, where has Dr Nick gone?
Actually, thinking of Kyuss, where has Dr Nick gone?
Come on peopleKeep the threads coming.
What should I do in Melbourne next weekend?
What should I do in Melbourne next weekend?
duhIt's not my first time in Melbourne you know....
I need something new to do.
I need something new to do.
How many did you shag before they threw you out last time though? A man doesn'tkiss and tell
Bells beach, Great Ocean Road, 90 mile beach, Healesville Sanctuary, melbourne aquarium, snapper or flathead fishing trip (not sure of the season now), wine tour around Mornington Peninsula or Yarra Valley, dumplings in Chinatown (down one of the side alleys, not in Little Bourke Street itself), coffee almost anywhere but particularly Proud Marys, Brother Baba Budan, the auction room, dead man espresso (3 different areas of town depending on where you are)
Dunno, never been to New Zealand. Go see penguins in the wild `
We have had penguins in Dawlish lately,for no discernible reason.
That is genuinely true, butalthough it was in our local rag, I can find NOTHING on the internet about it.
It was a bunch of nuns. wasn't it?
Nonuns are almost extinct in the Westcountry, because we use their pelts for fuckgloves.
perhaps theywere on holiday
Perhaps they just wanted to see Dawlish.It's entirely reasonable.
In January?I doubt it.
Derbyshire,or Victoria?
I hope it's Victoria.Otherwise my company has paid a hell of a lot of money for a flight.
Well the tickets will presumablyhave to cover the building of an airport*.
* moving the sheep out of the field.
* moving the sheep out of the field.
I want to go to Australia, I must sort this out.In other questions, how hard would it be to make a computer thing that searched through Twitter and Facebook and whenever anyone said "your a [whatever]", it replied with "I think you'll find it's "you're""?
There are some dolts out there.
There are some dolts out there.
Pretty easy for twitterthough it'd probably quickly get flagged as spam given the number or tweets it'd be sending.
If I ever learn to do internetI will do it.
"new_matt does the internet"really wouldn't be very high on my list of films to see TBH
I'm just going through a pack of drawings by a colleague.The colleague is no longer on the project, and I've not looked at the drawings in detail before, but they're essentially furniture layouts for flats.
Every bedroom contains at least one "chest of draws"
Every bedroom contains at least one "chest of draws"
*draws on chest*..
I used to know the person who owns the posh RAC club(nowt to do with breakdon cover)
i'd go there
or visit my mate aiofe
i'd go there
or visit my mate aiofe
I had a girlfriend once, whose Dad was a member of the RAC club(the gentleman's club) in London, his business paid for it.
Anyway, the RAC club used to own the RAC breakdown company, and they only sold it in about 1997/8. As the club is technically jointly owned by all of its members, when they sold it every member got a cheque.
My GFs dad got one, I seem to recall it was in excess of £30k.
Anyway, the RAC club used to own the RAC breakdown company, and they only sold it in about 1997/8. As the club is technically jointly owned by all of its members, when they sold it every member got a cheque.
My GFs dad got one, I seem to recall it was in excess of £30k.
my mate used to work there, there were some good stories..
renactthe Bouncer's Dream episode
this. .
dress up as the ghost of rowland s howard drink VB while busking on brunswickor do some of this http://www.melbourneun...
Morning threadSpam
Doodoooo, de doo dooWananarolv,
Doo doo de doo.
Doo doo de doo.
Shit the bed did we ? it made sense before the spam was moddedChrist, I feel as shit as a Manley this morning. Nothing is going right.
Great.:(
by which i meant...Not that you are shit, but that you are often miserable...
And now I am some form of waymarker.Not that I am complaining, just that today is a very, very low day for me.
No idea why.
No idea why.
You knowWhenever I feel down I have a poo or a wank. I have not tried both simultaneously since being a teenager. Maybe you guys should have some big old circle jerk to cheer yourselves up.
To be honest I started feeling a bit down at the weekend, though not through lack of wanking obviously. So I decided to make myself a load of pointless lists to make better use of my time on this Earth. I am not ruling out that these lists will not end up covered in either poo or wank but for the time being they feel like a move in the right direction.
The trick is to be able to trick yourself into thinking differently. Though my biggest worry about being able to trick myself is that one day I may play a practical joke on myself again. I watched Predator the other night and started worrying about those kind of spikey traps that Arney was making.
So unless you want to end up in a spikey pit I'd suggest a good old fashioned shit and a wank
To be honest I started feeling a bit down at the weekend, though not through lack of wanking obviously. So I decided to make myself a load of pointless lists to make better use of my time on this Earth. I am not ruling out that these lists will not end up covered in either poo or wank but for the time being they feel like a move in the right direction.
The trick is to be able to trick yourself into thinking differently. Though my biggest worry about being able to trick myself is that one day I may play a practical joke on myself again. I watched Predator the other night and started worrying about those kind of spikey traps that Arney was making.
So unless you want to end up in a spikey pit I'd suggest a good old fashioned shit and a wank
Cake? I wasn't suggesting you actually pooed on the shitThat's just weird. But I mean when is the last time you looked into the toilet and thought to yourself "My God I'm like an anal sculptor". Maybe you just need reuniting with your inner pooer.
Why don't you try and beat Cool Hand Luke's record so that you're like totally backed up and you know, treat yourself
Why don't you try and beat Cool Hand Luke's record so that you're like totally backed up and you know, treat yourself
It'd take about 10 weeks.My chickens are IDLE!
You can bring a downer on everythingEven poo. I'd recommend listening to Who's Making Love by Johnnie Taylor because grammatically retarded songs make me happy, but you won't use spotify because of some strange reason that I got bored with before I finished reading.
Basically I advise you loads of possible solutions to this terrible depression you are suffering from but you never take them. You won't visit a doctor, you won't eat enough boiled eggs to make yourself constipated. You won't have a shit and a wank at the same time, you won't listen to Johnnie Taylor's grammatically incorrect funk. What more advice can I give you?
Basically I advise you loads of possible solutions to this terrible depression you are suffering from but you never take them. You won't visit a doctor, you won't eat enough boiled eggs to make yourself constipated. You won't have a shit and a wank at the same time, you won't listen to Johnnie Taylor's grammatically incorrect funk. What more advice can I give you?
I know, I bring it on myself.
I was driving down the A1 into that lodnon on Saturday.I saw something very strange on the left hand side of the road just after the M25.
I think you should visit:
http://www.dinosaursaf...
I think you should visit:
http://www.dinosaursaf...
I think, when the weather is warmerthis calls for a 'bodian outing. Because frankly, that looks awesome.
I don't get it.A dinosaur themed golf course?
(Not that that isn't a brilliant concept)
(Not that that isn't a brilliant concept)
It looks like crazy golfthat's REAL MAN'S golf
dinosaur themed crazy goldquite seriously, what is not to love? DEFINITELY requires a summertime bodia trip.
I think CJ's got the measure of it,we must have a 'bodistag party there for him.
That works wellI mean, he wouldn't actually want to mix us with his real friends, would he?
Indeed.Not.
I'm there The best bit is I can wear my godzilla costume againand unlike at model village I won't get thrown out
I am so there and getting arrested again at the weekend I just spotted a series of dinosaurs alongside the road.I didn't get chance to work out what was going on, and I had to google it when I got home.
It looks quite exciting, I have to say.
It looks quite exciting, I have to say.
designed and built by one of the World's leading Adventure Golf designers
that's like one of those stupid world records for sticking lorries up your arse, or smacking yourself on the head with a spanner, that only one person ever does.
that's like one of those stupid world records for sticking lorries up your arse, or smacking yourself on the head with a spanner, that only one person ever does.
I do both those things usually while having a wank and listening to Johnnie TaylorThe trick is to eat enough eggs the day before
"Most internally bound up self abuserMr Bongo, Basingstoke 1996"
So it's all true, blimey
So it's all true, blimey
have you ever been to the US?there's millions of the things, all competing to be the biggest and most ludicrous
I want to emigrate
I want to emigrate
I havebut never did a crazy golf over there, it's true.
Mainly, I think because I've been trained to expect a run down mess of crumbling concrete and drainpipes, with maybe a broken windmill and a surly disinterested old codger throwing a bent putter at you in the rain.
Mainly, I think because I've been trained to expect a run down mess of crumbling concrete and drainpipes, with maybe a broken windmill and a surly disinterested old codger throwing a bent putter at you in the rain.
this is also pretty muchwhat i'm expecting from the Olympics
You could have saved a fuckload of typingby just typing "Hastings"
hahai think the only place i've played it in the uk was there
it was satisfyingly bleak
it was satisfyingly bleak
Actually, they tend not to want to pay any attention to records with no competition,so at least two people are sticking lorries up their nose, etc.
That's my stag do sorted then You are the wanky shit demonAICMFP
CAKE! Ugh! This one hasa peanut in it's head!
and a flagon top
HERE SHE COMES JUSTA WALKIN DOWN THE STREETsinging:
wananarolv will be my spam mantra todayOn my way to newcastle, waiting for the train after the one I wanted because the website sold me the wrong ticket.
Going to a meeting that no-one wants me at. Also trying to arrange to see a bloke at the council who doesn't seem to want to see me either.
Then as soon as I get back to Edinburgh this evening I have to go and inspect a project I hate which will probably look shit.
Going to a meeting that no-one wants me at. Also trying to arrange to see a bloke at the council who doesn't seem to want to see me either.
Then as soon as I get back to Edinburgh this evening I have to go and inspect a project I hate which will probably look shit.
Apart from that though......
well, my car does have an engine.And I haven't maimed myself recently.
I am on a chilly platform Waiting for a delayed train
it is bloody cold!
it is bloody cold!
Still -11°C here.Luckily no ice and snow, but still really cold for the cycle run to work.
you nutjobwind factor must have made it close to -25.. if you'd have got a taxi you'd have helped warm the earth up
I don't know which is worse yours, or getting a puncture and having to walk the bike 5 miles home in 31 degree heat because you forgot the repair kit this morning.
to be honestI would rather be too cold than too hot
31 is pretty cool for this time of yearand if i had cycled the whole way it would have been fine. But the extra hour and a bit in the sun didn't help.
A whopping 10 degrees hereneedless to say it's wet and murky
morning allgot the train in. Couldn't actually cycle on most of the streets between my house and the station due to a lovely combination of thick slushy melting snow and skinny slick tyres.
other: photos from the regatta I was at at the weekend. We came 104th. We were a long way from being last. There are a lot of idiots in this country.
other: photos from the regatta I was at at the weekend. We came 104th. We were a long way from being last. There are a lot of idiots in this country.
trudatI'll look at your pics later when I'm not using my phone.
Having now looked, I can say"bloody hell, yesterday looks a bit brutal."
the really light windscan be harder work than a decent breeze. Not being able to see the next rounding mark is also rather troubling.
perhaps worth pointing out that the guy who helmed the boat that won yesterdayis crewing at the Olympics this year.
Even our olympians are fucking mental
Even our olympians are fucking mental
Morning clegocreseeWanna buy a handbag? Genuine fake brands!
edit: I have enough holiday left to take every friday off for this month and next. Hmmm.
edit: I have enough holiday left to take every friday off for this month and next. Hmmm.
all my team have the same problemthere was one guy had 20 days leave left, looks like he might be losing some.
Looks like one of our staff is working with Bridgewater Community Health Trust, he's an IG guy.
Looks like one of our staff is working with Bridgewater Community Health Trust, he's an IG guy.
I replied to this but the board ate it. [asfmklakldgn]Careful, we may try and poach him. We seem to be lacking any decent IG staff.
Actually, we're lacking any kind of corporate structure and that means we can't recruit new IG staff yet, which is shit. We're almost a year old and we're never going to pass CNST.
Actually, we're lacking any kind of corporate structure and that means we can't recruit new IG staff yet, which is shit. We're almost a year old and we're never going to pass CNST.
morning allanother 4 day week for me, but judging by the current state of our new CM system in testing it may be a long one.
I Completed Bayonetta on the xbox eventually yesterday. that really is one bizarre game
I Completed Bayonetta on the xbox eventually yesterday. that really is one bizarre game
Blimey, you've been playing that a while edit: the tank bit on goldeneye reloaded is a bit of a disappointment but I can't remember it at all from the original
i hadnt played it for a bitas i got stuck at one bit and it gave me the rage. There are some good nods to other sega games (there's a big outrun and an afterburner/space harrier bit too) and some mental bosses, well worth a go so long as the missus is open mimded :)
The missus isn't really into games at all,other than the occasional bit of wii. My gaming time is currently severely curtailed with the exception of pokemon red rescue team on the GBA while we watch numb3rs on netflix.
Don't marry herGames before hoes.
Games before dames.Fixed that for you.
Very nicely done.Can you do something about our performance against Pakistan?
one to forget I have a new northface jacketthat i got at the weekend and it is bloody boiling
I have a huge one and I had to take it off today.I think it is a McMurdo Parka
i bought aM brandBand something
I have a Mountain Equipment down jacketthat is only realistically usable when the temperature drops below about -10C.
I wore it once last year when it snowed and I had to walk into town, and it was like wearing a sauna.
I wore it once last year when it snowed and I had to walk into town, and it was like wearing a sauna.
I only wear a shirt under mine.It instantly becomes a nice warm room.
Yep, that's fine with my everyday down jacket,but the M.E. one must have involved about 50 geese in its construction - it's incredibly thick and incredibly warm.
Mine too - no good even outdoors unless it is basically freezing.I guess I could discover the tog rating using internets?
I can!550 fill goose down insulation inside a waterproof HyVent© shell.
I am no wiser.
I am no wiser.
550 fill is a reasonable quality down,but you can't actually assess the warmth without the weight of down as well.
The fill power is effectively just a density measurement. The higher the fill power, the fluffier the down I think.
The fill power is effectively just a density measurement. The higher the fill power, the fluffier the down I think.
Righty-ho.It is approximately huge.
Don't let it get you down./sorry
"it's only castles burning"/Neil young
Here it is. is it one of those 3 in 1 type dealsi think i might get one.. with my crap circulation my body temp is all over the place
either tath or i'm going through menopause
either tath or i'm going through menopause
I am having a hot flush.I reckon that this is because I am fucking mental.
you're not mentalyou just expected more from life.. some great achievement
and are a bit miffed that when you die only your friends and family will remember you
and are a bit miffed that when you die only your friends and family will remember you
This is actually a very perceptive comment.It probably explains a huge majority of all bouts of depression.
If them.I was doing alright, then the merger happened and I stayed to look after the guys here and I suddenly have nothing to look forward to except death.
I do not do anything which is fun anymore and I only did things I cared about before.
I am ill not and dying and I am actually content that I have done more than most people have. Maybe not any single achievement, but I have done a lot. Almost every conversation on here I have some experience of.
I just do not want to go to work every day to do something I have no belief in. I want to go back to caring about it - I was good at it and now? I just find it hard to give a fuck.
I do not do anything which is fun anymore and I only did things I cared about before.
I am ill not and dying and I am actually content that I have done more than most people have. Maybe not any single achievement, but I have done a lot. Almost every conversation on here I have some experience of.
I just do not want to go to work every day to do something I have no belief in. I want to go back to caring about it - I was good at it and now? I just find it hard to give a fuck.
well if you rely on your job as a source of happinessget a new job that fulfils that need/challenge
Sadly, my wife wouldn't go for the cheap house in Bow, so my needs include a London wage.
Scottish cunting power!I'm a few hundred quid up with them so thought I'd ask for it back, what with being a bit skint. So I log on and enter my latest meter readings and pay the bill. I'm still over £200 up and it tells me that it's increasing my direct debit payment. Cunts.
ProtipThey usually calculate that based on the last two readings.
Take on reading one day and send it off, take a second a few days later (after using as little electricity as possible) and send it off.
Take on reading one day and send it off, take a second a few days later (after using as little electricity as possible) and send it off.
I waited on the phone for a whilethen emailed them saying "I've just paid a bill and I'm £200 in credit but you've increased my direct debit. Set it at £50 and refund me my money."
Power companies are not allowed to owe you money for longer than 12 monthsif you ask for a refund, they must pay but will insist your DD goes up to match the years usage over the last 4 quarters
Then I should have my DD reduced to £43.70. Wheeeeeee!
Lucky sod. We got a tiny amount of snowthen very cold rain that froze shortly after it hit the ground.
Yay!
Very elegant! That's awesome!We just had an icecream van in the street.
Stabbing it with a bread knifewas a nice touch.
I fancy your art
Pervert..
Yes.Yes I am.
that is fantasticbut next time make a 6ft high one and scare all the dogs in the aREA
I went drivingit was fun in a scary-ohshitohshitohshit-phew kind of way
there have been some good snowmen today actually...
asky: when i type into my url bar in ff it sends me to an AVG search page. how do i stop this? i've removed the toolbar but that didn't work
asky: when i type into my url bar in ff it sends me to an AVG search page. how do i stop this? i've removed the toolbar but that didn't work
probably a settingIn FF has been changed
try looking at "options" "default search engine" (or something like that)
try looking at "options" "default search engine" (or something like that)
the search box still goes to google have you updated software recently?i tried doing a vlc update but even tucows was trying to lumber me with an avg sp (and some other shit i can't remember)
coming into Cambridgefrom sailing, saw sat on a roundabout a two metre high snow penis. I salute the builders of such a fine erection.
In other news, I was sailing today. It was cold, oh so cold.
In other news, I was sailing today. It was cold, oh so cold.